remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
