We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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