I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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