I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's blow job season.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
