I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
