I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
