if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
