I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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