your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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