I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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