I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
