That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
