You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize