WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's Friday. Sex?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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