u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
