id be glad to
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
