He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
