he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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