somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
