Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
