butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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