Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
