whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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