Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
