id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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