I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
