There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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