Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
