um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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