We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
