Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Come see our sink grown plant.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
