Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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