there was a trapeze. enough said
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
