i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
