can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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