is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
