we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I will be naked everywhere
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
