Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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