doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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