We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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