Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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