Welp...herpes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
