Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
