I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
