he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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