i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
