so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
