Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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