He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
