butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
