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i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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