I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
