Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
