I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Shame - the story of my life.
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