There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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