3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
