Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
