I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
