if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
