If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
