she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
soo... how was my night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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