You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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