Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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