You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
