'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
