I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
