I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
